642. Steinbrenner wanted to buy Roy for the Yankees. Roy threatened to buy the Yankees. Steinbrenner left him alone.
639. Roy sucks the baseball soul of lesser known mortals to continue his dominance.
640. The Roy Halladay bobblehead socuttered the A-Roid bobblehead in a warehouse at Citizens Bank Park yesterday.
641. Roy Halladay singlehandedly moved the Phillies-Blue Jays series from Rogers Centre, despite what the G20 thinks
635. Roy thought “New” Scrubs on ABC was very funny.
636. Lou Gehrig lied – he wasn’t the luckiest man on the face of the earth. He never got to see Roy pitch
637. If Roy Halladay was the main character in “24” and not Jack Bauer, Roy Halladay could… drop off his kids at school, eat breakfast, drink his morning cup of coffee, do the crossword, work out, save the country from nuclear or chemical annihilation, save the president from assassination AND foil every terrorist plot to destroy the country and pick up his kids from school. All while pitching a complete game shutout against the Mets.
638. Infinity Ward (the creators of Call of Duty), were toying with the idea of adding an new “prototype” weapon. This “prototype” weapon codenamed, “Roy Halladay” was going to be the ultimate weapon, basing the design of the weapon exactly of the specifications of the real Roy Halladay. This included the powerful fastball, cutter, sinker, curve and change as well as his overall intimidating appearance. The problem was, as the programmers were starting to program Roy into the game, their computers would always crash, do to the awesome amounts of power it could to create such a weapon. So Infinity Ward scraped the “Halladay” project and went with the lesser “Cole Hamels” and the even lesser, “Kyle Kendrick” projects.
632. In the first Jurassic Park, the T-Rex wasn’t chasing the Jeep, Roy Halladay was chasing the T-Rex and the Jeep!
633. Roy Halladay threw a fastball at a 10-dollar bill and it split into 200 nickels.
634. The G-20 Summit isn’t actually meeting in Toronto over the weekend of June 25-27. The Blue Jays franchise does not want to be perfected three times in a row in front of their home crowd. (Roy Halladay has already stated that he plans on retiring 81 consecutive Blue Jays batters on 80 pitches)
631. Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration. Now I will cutter the shit out of the Rockies. -Charles Dickens (a.k.a. Roy Halladay’s Cutter)
623. When Roy Halladay has two strikes on a batter, don’t you just want to yell “FINISH HIM!”
624. The ladies say if Roy Halladay was a drink, he’d definitely be a smoothie.
625. It’s not called “Plausible Deniability”, it’s “Plausible Halladaybility”. Look if Roy doesn’t know about it… it’s okay.
626. Roy Halladay always tips his hat to Robin Roberts.
627. God, Ed Hochuli, Chuck Norris and the Boogeyman all check inside their closets and under their beds to see if Roy Halladay is not there.
628. Roy was disguised as ancient pitching wonder Jamie Moyer last night.
629. Albert who?
630. Roy Halladay would of caught that kid who jumped onto the field during Cole Hamels’ last start without using a taser. But Roy didn’t want to face possible murder charges, because we all know… a Roy Halladay fastball has only one setting: “K-ill”
616. Roy just wanted to make things dramatic, no big deal.
617. Halladay is one of the few guys that I’m not worried when the bases are loaded.
618. It’s like a grown up game of musical chairs the way Halladay makes ’em sit so fast.
619. I want to argue with the umpire with Roy
620. TAKE A SEAT, THE LOT OF YOU!
621. Doc just wants everyone to gather around to watch him work his magic. That’s all.
622. When you absolutely, positively have to have it there overnight, call FedEx. When you need 9 scoreless innings, you call Roy Halladay.