501. If you play Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon backwards, it perfectly matches up with Roy Halladay first start with the Philadelphia Phillies.
502. If you play Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon backwards AGAIN, Roy Halladay will show up at your door and punch you in the neck.
503. If you play Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon in Vinyl format, you’re probably a hippie. And Roy Halladay won’t talk to you or he might, if so sweet.
504. When Saddam Hussein was killed, the U.S. government used “the hanging” as a cover up. In reality, they had Roy Halladay throw a fastball at him but the impact was so hard it cause Saddam to explode on contact.
505. Everytime Roy gets a strike in bowling, an X does not appear, but a K does.
506. Roy Halladay plays solitaire with two people. He just can’t do anything in life without beating someone.
507. When Roy gets bored, he pitches with his glove.
508. Roy used to be a football player, but was banned for life for being too rough. It turns out every time he tackled someone, he broke their arms and legs. He then turned to baseball because the object is not to make contact, but to make the batter miss contact all together. Roy mastered this skill, and has yet to have his changeup hit by a batter.
509. As part of a new marketing campaign, during all innings that Roy Halladay pitches, the outfielders will play heads down, thumbs up with children under 7… and Ryan Howard.
510. The reason Ryan Howard strikes out so much is because Roy’s change up is so devastating it actually strikes out Phillies hitters. Other pitchers don’t strike out Phillies batters, Roy Halladay strikes out Phillies batters….not on purpose of course, he’s just that good.
511. When Saddam Hussein was captured by U.S. in Iraq, he shouted in English, “Damn you Roy Halladay to hell!!!” Even Saddam knew you can’t hide from Roy Halladay if he wants to find you, even if he is thousands of miles away sound asleep in his bed.
512. Roy Halladay can shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle containing just one pill.
513. When Eminem said “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?”, Roy Halladay did and proceeded to strike out the rapper and teach him proper grammar.
514. Roy Halladay opposes the Iraq War because he could kill all the terrorists after he long tosses on his day off.
515. Roy knows the meaning of life, but we’re not intelligent enough to understand it.
516. A Roy Halladay curveball can cure the flu.
517. Roy’s changeup is so amazing that after he finishes and inning by striking out the third batter, he has to wait ten minutes for his pitch to finally hit the catcher’s mitt.
518. Roy Halladay makes Rogers Clemens look like chubby tool… oh wait a minute…
519. No lineup is ever “Roy Halladay Proof”.
520. Roy Halladay owns the copyright that keeps any super-hero from wearing red pinstripes.