1. Roy Halladay is in fact a boss and a beast put together.
2. Fear itself fears Roy Halladay.
3. They call Roy “Doc” not because his last name sounds like the infamous gunslinger, but because he has a Ph.D in K’s.
4. Roy Halladay pitches right-handed, because it was too easy to pitch left-handed for him.
5. Roy is so good, he is making Kyle Kendrick better.
6. Roy once threw a curveball so well it struck out the batter’s future grandkids.
7. When Roy passes “Go”, he collects $600 dollars.
8. Roy is a descendant of infamous gunslinger, Doc Holliday. But instead of a six-shot revolver, Roy uses a 95 mile an hour fastball.
9. We can’t divide by zero, but Roy Halladay can!
10. Roy Halladay is the only true ace- it proves that unassisted manned flight is possible
11. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Roy Halladay before going to sleep.
12. Brett Myers wasn’t re-signed because he didn’t want to embarrass Roy with his “awesomeness,” oh, I mean mediocrity.
13. Roy Halladay gives up a lone run, only so he can say he gave the opposing team a fighting chance before striking them out.
14. Roy Halladay told Tiger it was a bad idea to do what he did. But did Tiger listen?
15. Roy Halladay is so great he makes suicide commit life.
16. Roy Halladay might be a PECO agent. He is always puting opposing batter’s lights out.
17. Roy pitches right-handed because pitching left-handed was too easy.
18. Roy Halladay walks batters just because he can.
19. I won my Fantasy League with one player, Roy Halladay!
20. Roy found Waldo and Carmen San Diego, and then struck them out to retire the side.
21. If one were to successfully collect Roy’s sweat from a game and then drink it at midnight, he or she would be imbued with superpowers for 48 hours. The problem is that Roy doesn’t sweat. Sweating means that you are either nervous or exerting yourself, and Roy has no need for those.
22. Evil is constantly on the run now that Roy is with us.
23. Roy Halladay invented the Internet. When Al Gore tried to take credit, Halladay K’d him with a curve.
24. Roy Halladay isn’t left-handed, he’s bored.
25. As a 6 year old Roy Halladay once had 27 strikeouts. It was a Tee-ball league.
26. In Fantasy Baseball Leagues across the nation, the teams that have picked up Roy Halladay from the waiver wire have automatically won their league championship through forfeit. Other fantasy managers have realized that they stand no chance to Roy’s projected stats this season of 900IP, 0.00ERA, 0.00WHIP, 2,700Ks, 100W and 100S. One fantasy owner was reported as attempting to trade for Roy Halladay in his league, and had to give up Albert Pujols, $1000, and the rights to his own wife on Monday nights.
27. Cliff Lee was Roy Halladay in disguise
28. Roy Halladay once threw a changeup that the batter swung at three times, thus recording the first ever one pitch strike out. He has since done it 37 more times.
29. Roy is more powerful than Oprah.
30. Three things are certainties in life: death, taxes, and Roy Halladay
31. It is no coincidence that the FBI’s “best lead” in the Jimmy Hoffa case coincided with Roy’s first Spring Training appearance. In fact, with each Spring Training appearance, a new mystery will be solved, including crop circles (aliens from Mars), where Bin Laden is hiding (Bolivia) and whether Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone (it was actually those two guys on the grassy knoll).
32. Roy Halladay’s curve ball is so good, it broke 12 to negative 6.
33. Roy Halladay is Agent 006.
34. Roy Halladay sees dead people… and when he does, he strikes them out – sending their spirits back to hell, where they belong.
35. No, sorry. Roy Halladay is not God.
36. Roy Halladay didn’t need to go to college, because he already has a Ph.D in Strikeouts from the Baseball powerhouse: Dominate Mastery University.
37. There are only three types of liars: liars, damn liars, and anyone who claims to have gotten a hit off of Roy Halladay.
38. Roy is a true American Idol.
39. The only reason Roy Halladay doesn’t have an official fan club at Citizens Bank Park like most Phillies do (yet) is because why does he need one? The crowd in any stadium is his fan club.
40. Darwin’s Theory says, “Survival of the fittest.” Roy Halladay’s Theory says, “The Mets will lose to Roy Halladay.”
41. Roy could throw left -handed and still strikeout 10 Mets batters
42. Roy’s two children once threw two perfect games. One the same day.
43. Roy Halladay wins Connect 4 in three moves.
44. After hearing that most of its employees where Mets, Red Sox, and Yankee Fans, Roy Halladay putLehman Bros. out of business.
45. The true reason behind K-Rod’s excessive celebrations? He is just thanking his lucky stars he does not have to hit Roy Halladay.
46. Brett Farve waffled on retirement because wasn’t he didn’t get to see enough of Roy Halladay.
46. The conflict between Georgia and Russia was actually caused by Georgia claiming it has a non-Philadelphia Era Roy Halladay rookie card. Putin didn’t take this news lightly and is trying to obtain this by force.
48. There’s no crying in baseball, unless Roy Halladay is pitching and you’re a Met or Yankee… or a Red Sox.
49. I invested in a 401k plan because I thought I was investing in Roy Halladay’s strikeout totals, and I would be rich.
50. Roy Halladay will single-handedly cause the Green Bay Packers to go 0-16, not because he doesn’t like the team, but because the Packers don’t want Favre to come back and to play for him. Roy will do this while pitching everyday for the Phillies, and will guide them to a sweep of all three rounds of the playoffs, including the World Series. Meanwhile, Favre will play football for the Eagles, and they will go 19-0.
51. Roy Halladay was drafted 1st overall in my fantasy football league. His dog, Royce, went second.
52. Roy Halladay doesn’t give up earned runs. Runs must earn Roy Halladay
53. Sorry Barack, the only CHANGE we can believe in is Roy’s changeup.
54. Roy Halladay is like God, but Roy only has one commandment that the batters follow: “Thou shall not hit”
55. Left Handed, Right Handed, it does not matter to Roy which side of the plate you hit from, you’re still not hitting off of him.
56. The terms “Runs at a Premium” was coined because of the lack of runs opponents scored off of Roy.
57. Roy Halladay is the reason why hitters stopped trying to hit.
58. MLB.com’s GameDay cannot properly calculate the trajectory of Roy Halladay’s curveball. Yes, it is a 2-8, but spans 3 giant clock lengths before crossing the plate.
59. Steinbrenner wanted to buy Roy for the Yankees. Roy threatened to buy the Yankees. Steinbrenner left him alone.
60. When Roy goes hunting he doesn’t use a gun. He uses baseballs.
61. Roy thinks that Liberty Bell Sports is the best website ever invented. Ever.
62. BWAHAHAHA! Mets.
63. Roy foresaw the impending upsets in the 2010 NCAA Basketball Championship and adjusted his brackets accordingly.
64. Roy knows the world isn’t going to end in 2012.
65. Roy Halladay’s kids could strike you out. Looking.
66. Nobody dares mentions Roy Halladay’s full name. It is said if one does, the “7 Biblical Plagues” fall upon him.
67. Jim Croce sung about how you should beware of a guy in the South Side of Chicago by the name of “Big Bad” Leroy Brown. Yeah, well I say you should beware of “Big Bad” Leroy Harold Halladay who lives in Citizen’s Bank Park in South Philadelphia.
68. So when the Day of Reckoning arrives, Roy will be ready. When the Four Housemen of the Apocalypse appear, Roy will be ready for them too and the Stage of the Apocalypse will be set. Roy will strikeout out each of the Four Horsemen in the same inning, even though there are only three outs.
69. Roy Halladay knows where that place down on Tenth Street is.
70. Sorry, Roy’s not Jesus either. Ask that bearded guy, Werth.
71. There will be a new statistic implemented in Major League Baseball this season. It will be known as a “HallaK.” A “HallaK” is like a strikeout, but better. A “HallaK” lowers the ERA of the pitcher by .20 each “HallaK” earned. Not only does it lower the ERA but it drops the opponents batting average by .020. Only Roy Halladay can earn a “HallaK”
72. If Roy Halladay stops suddenly, Kyle Kendrick will break his nose on the back of Roy’s head.
73. You need no luck, to not know hesitation while facing Roy Halladay.
74. Why are tigers strong? Because Roy Halladay said so!
75. Fastball, Curveball, Changeup. It doesn’t matter to Roy, you still ain’t hitting it!
76. Roy Halladay is like the sun, only brighter.
77. LOST was originally just a TV show based on major league hitters trying to figure out how to hit Roy Halladay
78. Roy Halladay is currently involved in a lawsuit against the makers of the MLB 2k10 video game for copyright infringment on his ridiculous curveball.
79. Roy Halladay can catch a ball with a visor.
80. While you were reading this… Roy struck you out.
81. The president is not worried about his approval rating. He knows his lasting legacy will be that he wiped out the national debt by selling his non-Philadelphia era Roy Halladay rookie card
82. If the Expos drafted Roy Halladay… they’d still be playing in Montreal
83. The Mythbusters would have asked Roy Halladay to be on their show, but everyone knows Roy isn’t a myth, only the man and the legend.
84. Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins used to be atheists; then they saw Roy Halladay’s curveball
85. When you go to clock a Roy Halladay fastball, the Radar Gun will read “WOW!”
86. Hillary Clinton did not duck sniper fire in Bosnia… it was just a Roy Halladay fastball.
87. When batters argue a called third strike from Roy Halladay, it is only to debate exactly how awesome the pitch was.
88. The Devil went down to Georgia because he knew if he went to Philadelphia, Roy would strike his ass out.
89. Roy Halladay pays fans to jog around the bases as he stands on the mound, just so he can know how the rest of the pitchers feel.
90. Red Sox Nation is a dot in the middle of Roy Halladay’s world!
91. The Yankees may be Pedro’s daddy, but Roy Halladay makes the Yankees his bitch!
92. Roy Halladay can beat Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War: Mission 18 on Ace Mode in 30 seconds just by staring down Solo Wing’s Morgan.
93. Watching Roy pitch will not only lower your cholesterol, but your blood pressure and stress levels
94. Roy Halladay can: turn the greyest sky blue. Make it rain, whenever he wants it to. Build a castle from a single grain of sand. Make a ship sail on dry land. Fly like a bird in the sky. Buy anything that money can buy. Turn a river into a raging fire. Live forever, if he so desired. Turn back the hands of time (you better believe he can). Make the seasons change, just by waving his hand. The reason people carry around THE END IS NEAR signs is because Roy is pitching against their favorite team.
95. Roy Halladay does not throw a fastball. He throws a 78 mph change-up, and a 97 mph change-up.
96. For a person to be canonized for sainthood by the Catholic church, proof of at least one miracle needs to be established. Of all the miracles recognized, it can be said that no saint has ever gotten as much as a foul-tip off of a Roy Halladay pitch – and it may never be achieved.
97. A squared + B squared= Roy Halladay
98. Due to Roy Halladay, scientists have now changed Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to “E=A Roy Halladay changeup squared”.
99. Roy Halladay could be the fastest to 800 home runs, but he is too busy on his off days and inning breaks fighting crime.
100. Since Roy Halladay got bored of not walking anybody, he changed the amount of balls for a walk from four to one.
101. Roy Halladay once struck a man out looking. Literally. Roy just gazed at him and the batter was retired on strikes.
102. By converting to Halladay-ism, all the world’s religious problems would be solved.
103. Roy Halladay claims Zach Greinke on his taxes.
104. In a past life, Roy Halladay was Cy Young’s pitching Coach
105. A no-hitter in Roy Halladay’s book is where the term literally means the hitter doesn’t make contact with the ball. He hopes to have 34 by the end of his career.
106. Roy only knows three pitches: Strike 1, Strike 2, and Strike 3.
107. The newest product from Apple will be the iRoy, so anyone can produce a “K” on command.
108. ALL walks thrown by Roy Halladay are intentional.
109. For charity, Chad Ochocinco decided that he wanted to face Roy Halladay. He later realized that that’s just taking it too far.
110. Roy Halladay considers Citizens Bank Park to be a Pitcher’s Park
111. Roy Halladay once threw a pick off move to first and a pitch at the same time. The baserunner and batter were so confused they were both called out.
112. Roy had a 4 pitch inning with 3 strikeouts.
113. Research shows that if Nike had a commercial with just Roy Halladay standing and holding up one of their shoes, their sales would improve by about 55%.
114. According to recent reports, the U.S. Missile Defense System is actually Roy Halladay on Speed Dial.
115. Roy doesn’t pitch a knuckleball because his knuckleball is illegal in 43 out of the 50 states.
116. Roy Halladay put Stephen Colbert on notice.
117. At my graduation, our valedictorian thanked the teachers, faculty and Roy Halladay
118. Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” is actually a song to give hope to all those who face Roy Halladay. Needless to say, the song is lying.
119. Finger Eleven’s “Paralyzer” is actually a song about Roy Halladay’s curveball and how it leaves hitters paralyzed. Needless to say, the song is correct.
120. 9 out of 10 guys who read this site want to switch hit one night for Roy Halladay.
121. Roy Halladay COULD throw a no-hitter every night, but then we would feel sorry for all the fans that pay to see a good game, so he makes the game close.
122. Roy Halladay eats Capt’n Crunch every morning for breakfast– never once has it cut the roof of his mouth.
123. You think Randy Johnson’s bird-killing fastball was awesome? Roy Halladay killed a Pterodactyl with a changeup.
124. Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s song, “Taking Care of Business” is based loosely on Roy Halladay’s starts. He always takes care of business on and off the mound.
125. In the words of Julius Caesar, “Veni, Vidi, Vici, Roy Halladay.” Translation: I came, I saw, I struck out against Roy Halladay.
126. You don’t mess with Texas… but Roy Halladay has.
127. Roy Halladay’s pitches are so confusing and have so much “action” that they fool the speed gun into reading 91 to 93 when they are really closer to 128 MPH.
128. Roy Halladay is the true reason why Waldo is hiding.
129. Jeeves asks Roy Halladay
130. Roy Halladay once struck out a hitter so bad, his kids struck out.
131. King Leonidas needed “300″. Roy would of only needed 1.
132. Roy Halladay could throw left-handed and STILL strikeout 10 Yankees.
133. Roy Halladay wouldn’t have had to say “I want these mother f@c%ing snakes of this mother f@c%ing plane!” The snakes would have sensed the awesome presence of Roy and acted accordingly, by getting off the mother f@c%ing plane.
134. Roy Halladay can make SEPTA come on time.
135. Roy Halladay defies the laws of Physics. Everyone knows you can not break the laws of Physics. So scientists had to develop a new theory which has now become universally known as the “Roy Halladay Law”.
136. Roy Halladay’ calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Roy Halladay!
137. Roy Halladay knows how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
138. Roy Halladay sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled pitching ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Roy hit the devil with a pitch and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
139. Roy Halladay joined the Marines once. Remember that war with Iran and North Korea ? Neither do I.
140. Roy Halladay is so cool he never needs to flip the pillow.
141. Roy Halladay’s chief export is K’s.
142. Roy Halladay’s chief imports are Wins and Cy Young Awards.
143. New Yorkers and Americans across the country were offended that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia because they were expecting Roy Halladay. President Ahmadinejad claimed there are no homosexuals in Iran, but then he saw a picture of Roy Halladay. He has now redacted this claim.
144. Roy Halladay has a calming effect on Milton Bradley.
145. Its not the RHF hasn’t been updated… Roy has started to read all the facts and it would be rude to make him catch up.
146. Three things effect the tides: Full moon, New moon, and a sinker from Roy Halladay.
147. Roy knows his calculus: “You+Me=K”
148. Roy Halladay has a calming effect on Jose Offerman
149. Why do the Phillies lead the league in runs scored? They never have to face Roy Halladay!
150. A suicide squeeze is considered just that: suicide when facing down Halladay’s deadly fastball.
151. Roy Halladay won’t pitch a perfect game every time out because, like a cat, he prefers to play with the mice first.
152. Department of Homeland Security is just a fancy name for Roy’s sinker.
153. Roy Halladay cut his hair and donated it to “Locks of Love” so an 11-year-old cancer patient, Kelly, could feel normal. Upon receiving Roy’s hair, she instantly was cured of cancer, grew 9 inches, and can throw a change up that even Roy is impressed with.
154. Bungie (The creators of Halo) were thinking of new weapons to put into the game. They came up with the idea of basing a weapon off of Roy Halladay’s fastball. However, they decided to scrap the idea because no other weapon could compare to that speed and power.
155. Roy told Bon Jovi he can’t go home.
156. Roy Halladay will win the Time Man Of The Year Award in 2012 when he saves the world on Dec. 21 at 11:11 am, proving Darren Daulton wrong.
157. If Roy could play hockey, he could deke Sidney Crosby in a phone booth.
158. Roy’s so badass he doesn’t throw strikes–he just tells batters they’re out.
159. Roy Halladay got a hole in one on a par 5 and said, “This is too easy- I’m sticking with baseball.”
160. Roy eradicated the swine flu with a 3-2 fastball on the inside corner .
161. While reading this website, one’s intellectual capabilities are increased due to Roy Halladay’s extrahuman sense of knowing who is praising him. He makes sure that even though people are not paying attention in school or work to read this website, they still do well.
162. The United States economy is not in recession. It just stepped out of the batter’s box, rather than face another Roy Halladay sinker.
163. Roy Halladay can read Lady Gaga’s poker face.
164. Roy Halladay has always known that there are ties in the NFL.
165. The application of mental or physical torture in order to obtain information or confession from a prisoner is commonly referred to as the “third degree”. The only confirmed act that guarantees 100% success in securing information is showing the prisoner a life-size cutout of Roy Halladay holding a baseball, from 60′6″ away.
166. Roy Halladay has his own Periodic Table of Elements. This consists of 1F (fastball), 2Cv (curveball), 3Cg (changeup), 4Sk (sinker), and 5Fu (brushback). Exposure to 5Fu is guaranteed instant death.
167. Roy Halladay is the only person who is legally allowed to hunt any animal from a helicopter. He just throws fastballs at them, and occasionally at Sarah Palin to make sure she understands the “law”.
168. Joe the Plumber voted for Roy Halladay. He is the most brilliant plumber ever.
169. Roy Halladay’s blood type is “K”
170. Every time Roy Halladay throws a strike, a puppy is born.
171. Roy Halladay’s fastball can single handily stop illegal immigration, former President Bush was too afraid to ask though.
172. John Kruk didn’t use Nutrisystem to lose weight. He used a steady diet of Roy Halladay sinkers.
173. Roy is neither Arab nor Israeli. So stop fighting about it!
174. Roy Halladay spelled backwards is YadallaH Yor. Still, Roy Halladay is a palindrome.
175. Roy Halladay is so impressive that he would even impress himself, if he were capable of being impressed, which is just ridiculous.
176. Roy pitches with his eyes closed and left-handed, just to keep it fair.
177. What is never a problem but always the answer? Roy Halladay.
178. A little-known feature in MLB 10: The Show comes when you try to play a game as the Phillies with Roy Halladay. As soon as the game starts, an animation of the other team forfeiting happens, and a message saying “You win!” appears. A digital Bud Selig then appears and hands Roy the World Series trophy, even if it’s an exhibition game.
179. There is a Starting Pitcher, Relief Pitcher, Closer, and Roy Halladay.
180. Did you know that Roy Halladay is the only person able to make money in a bear market?
181. Roy Halladay can throw a pitch that even God can’t hit.
182. Roy Halladay once threw a curve ball so well that the batter’s children struck out.
183. Kanye West almost needed to pay Roy Halladay royalties to release that “Jesus Walks” song, but Roy let it go, because he doesn’t walk anyone so it couldn’t really be about him.
184. Compared to Roy Halladay, opposing pitchers are so crappy they give Pepto Bismol the runs.
185. When Roy gets takeout, he uses one chopstick. When he breaks open his fortune cookie, it reads: “You’re Roy Halladay. Lucky Numbers- You tell me.”
186. By law, Roy is forbidden to play on any work softball team.
187. Roy Halladay was Julia Robert’s body double in Pretty Woman. It was the scene where the hooker strikes out 27 consecutive batters during a wiffle ball contest and then beats up 11 rival hookers. The scene was cut from the final by the MPAA because it was too intense for the PG-13 audience.
188. Roy Halladay warned former President George W. Bush it wasn’t a good idea.
189. Roy’s curveball is so deadly it used considered a federal offense. Roy had to get himself elected to the Supreme Court in order to change the law.
190. Fun Fact about Rembrandt van Rijn, his paintings didn’t sell at all early in his career, why?……….. Roy only taught him how to paint the corners.
191. Pedro Martinez has been quoted as saying “Wake up the darn Bambino, maybe I’ll drill him in the booty.” Roy Halladay laughs at these silly and foolish hypotheticals.
192. Roy knows the evil that lurks in every man.
193. Roy Halladay logged on to royhalladayfacts.wordpress.com one day and laughed so hard that New York broke away from the continental United States and sank into the sea. Roy was pissed because now it meant that he now needed to get wet in order to peg Alex Rodriguez in the head.
194. Roy’s heater is the primary cause of gas prices increasing drastically.
195. 36 countries have national defense strategies designed to protect themselves against Roy’s right arm. These plans are futile.
196. Roy Halladay only needs two seams to throw a four seam fastball.
197. To solve the number of immigrants crossing U.S. borders, the government will use Roy to “plunk” any illegal immigrants. Roy will monitor the borders from a distance and take out any illegals crossing the border. Government believes that after a few immigrants get hit, the crossing of the border will cease to exist in fears of the Roy Halladay fastball at their heads.
198. Roy could of convicted O.J.
199. Bruce Springsteen penned his hit song “Dead Man Walkin’” as an ode to a frustrated, doomed hitter on his way to the batter’s box to face Roy Halladay. The original lyrics read, “‘Neath a summer sky my eyes went black/Sister I won’t ask for forgiveness/An 0-for-3 with 3 Ks are all I have.”
200. Roy Halladay is awesome.
201. If Roy Halladay were on the Flyers this year, they’d not only win the Stanley Cup, but all 4 games would get a perfect Nielsen Rating.
202. If Roy was NHL commisioner, he would not have suspended Carcillo. Ever. Roy understands exactly what transgressed.
203. If Roy Halladay was the Flyers GM, the Flyer salary situation wouldn’t be fucked.
204 Roy, once shut out the New York Yankees, yet still not satisfied, suited up for the Flyers and shut out the New York Rangers on the same day.
205. Have you ever seen Roy Halladay ejected from game? NO. The umpires are too afraid to.
206. Roy Halladay once struck out 26 batters in a game. He would have struck out 27, but he was pitching behind his back.
207.Roy Halladay walked the length of Ikea in three minutes and twelve seconds. Once in the warehouse, he put everything together…without reading the directions and without an allen wrench.
208. Roy once threw a pitch so fast, it created a time warp and struck someone out in 1937.
209. When you see a Roy Halladay fastball, it has already traveled around the world four times.
210. Roy Halladay doesn’t fight dogs like Mike Vick; he fights bears. Roy Halladay is the undisputed and unbeaten champion
211. Roy got tired during the 7th inning in a game against the Yankees. So he sent in his bobblehead from the bullpen to pitch the 8th. Bobble Roy proceeded to strikeout the side in the 8th.
212. Bobble Roy, from fact 211, pitched a complete game one hit shutout against the Red Sox later the next day.
213. Roy Halladay always throws no hitters: meaning no hitters ever want to face him.
214. Roy Halladay doesn’t just have two balls, he has three strikes.
215. Convicted killers won’t get the electric chair; they’ll get a Roy Halladay fastball to the head. Quick and painless.
216. Roy told the Westboro Baptist Church folks not to go to Temple University on April 1st 2010. But did they listen?
217. Roy Halladay completed a Triathlon in one stage.
218. Roy doesn’t walks batters… he sets up double plays.
219. Roy Halladay once gave up a home run on purpose, just so he could run out to the stands and catch it himself.
220. The difference in miles per hour between Roy Halladay’s fastball and changeup would still be the fastest pitch in baseball.
221. Once as a teenager in Denver, Roy attended a Rockies game. The away team hit a home run right to Roy in the bleachers and he was prompted to throw the ball back on the field. He threw the ball so hard it went back in time and struck out Henry Aaron and Babe Ruth.
222. Roy Halladay’s only flaw as a baseball player you ask? Slowing down between second and third on his triples.
223. David Beckham brought soccer to America. Roy Halladay will be responsible for bringing baseball to outer space.
224. Roy knows what a Gyroball does.
225. After watch a Roy Halladay breaking ball, FOX immediately canceled “So You Think You Can Dance” because- what was the point anymore?
226. The only reason why Roy Halladay hasn’t won 3 consecutive US Opens? His balls never get hit… by anything
227. Mamma always said life is like a box of Roy Halladay. You always know a fastball is about to hit you in the face.
228. Nobody has started a nuclear war with America because no matter how many weapons they have, we have Roy Halladay.
229. Roy has Medusa-like powers. When batters face him, they freeze at the plate.
230. Roy once robbed a home run over the Green Monster…while he was pitching.
231. Roy Halladay was criticized for writing his K’s backwards in elementary. Now his former teachers worship him.
232. Umpires love Roy because all they have to do is sit back, have a beer, and call strikes and strikeouts.
232. Jack Nicholson was right when he said Tom Cruise couldn’t handle the truth. No one can handle Roy Halladay.
234. Roy’s position is misunderstood. He’s not only a starter, he’s also the finisher.
235. Save your hard earned money…. Roy Halladay defeats Voldemort!
236. Soccer will never be a major sport in America because Roy Halladay playsBaseball.
237. People ask why we were put on Earth. The answer is simple: to watch Roy Halladay.
238. Sonic the Hedgehog, The Flash, and Superman once challenged Roy Halladay to a race. When Sonic, Flash and Superman tried to cheat, realizing Roy was much more skilled and faster than them, Roy threw a fastball at all of their heads, killing them instantly. Nobody -including Johnny Damon, Jose Reyes, Ichiro, or Shane Victorino- has since dared to challenge Roy Halladay to a race.
239. Roy not only can believe it’s not butter, but can eat it without it going straight to his thighs.
240. Roy Halladay’s arm has a Hemi.
241. Roy actually CAN raise the roof…with his non pitching arm.
242. Roy Halladay is actually faster than Michael Bourn.
243. Vault’s main ingredient is Roy Halladay.
244. Roy has shot a round of 15 at Bethpage Black.
245. Roy’s right arm is illegal in 80 nations including every member of NATO. Except the United States of course.
246. Roy knows how to get those damn kids to keep off of his lawn… a fastball to the head.
247. Roy Halladay struck out Johnny Damon with his pick off move.
248. Once Roy turns 40, he will become a closer. He will enter the game in the middle of first.
249. Roy Halladay could single-handedly beat a doubles team of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal in tennis.
250. Roy’s curveball could power a large city (like New York) for at least a week.
251. A man once changed his Pokerstars avatar to Roy Halladay. He has since won 3.7 million and hasn’t lost a championship since.
252. On Father’s Day, Roy Halladay receives around 25,000 cards from the Yankees and Red Sox organizations. Why? Because he is their daddy.
253. Roy Halladay can beat up both Kimbo Slice and Brock Lesnar at the same time, using only one arm and one leg.
254. Roy Halladay struck out nine straight batters with one pitch.
255. Roy Halladay is so good, even Al Sharpton cheers when Roy’s line reads KKK.
256. Orbit gum cleans dirty mouths; Roy Halladay cleans Orbit gum.
257. Everyone goes to Cleveland to witness LeBron James; LeBron James comes to Philly to witness Roy Halladay.
258. Devin Hester is the first player to get a 100 speed rating in Madden only because Roy Halladay is not in Madden. Roy always tops 100 anyway.
259. When asked about the “Shot Heard ’round The World”, history teachers simply state it was nothing more than a swinging strikeout from Alex Rodriguez against a Roy Halladay sinker.
260. It’s impossible to say Roy without Halladay.
261. The United States Army slogan, “Army of One” was originally written by about Roy Halladay, and how he is like an “Army of One.” You know why? It takes only ONE Roy Halladay to take the enemy out.
262. The Mets offered the Phillies Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran, Pedro Martinez, Billy Wagner and Mr. Met for Roy Halladay; the Phillies just laughed.
263. Roy is amazing at Manhunt, no one can find home base on him.
264. Roy Halladay throws the ball so fast that time stands still.
265. Roy Halladay frequents Havana, Cuba every off-season. Fidel & Raul Castro are deathly afraid of Roy, so they provide him with whatever he want. About 10 years ago, Roy came back with beautifully hand rolled Cuban cigars and decided to give one to former President Bill Clinton. And yes, Roy did instruct our former leader on how to use that cigar.
266. I never pitch using Roy Halladay in MLB10: The Show because I am afraid of Roy’s fastball coming through the TV and killing me instantly.
267. Nobody hates Roy Halladay. The fact is, fans of opposing teams actually like him so much that it translates into hate.
268. Unbeknownst to anyone, Roy Halladay actually made a guest appearance in the movie “Armageddon”. His fastball actually blew up the asteroid.
269. Roy doesn’t know the meaning of an intentional walk…unless he is the one batting.
270. Roy never loses a game of Rock Paper Scissors because he always throws the rock as a fastball which blows a hole the paper and obliterates the scissors.
271. Alex Rodriguez tested positive for fear of Roy Halladay.
272. Roy once struck somebody out with a 3-1 palmball.
273. Roy feels bad for the hitters against him so he gives them pitches they can hit, but he still finds them swinging and missing anyway.
274. Lightning doesn’t strike Roy Halladay. Roy Halladay strikes lightning out just like he strikes out everything that comes near to him.
275. The DH was created because of popular demand of hitters who wanted a safe haven in the AL away from Roy Halladay.
276. Roy Halladay is the president of the Illuminati, Skull and Bones, the Freemasons, and the National Honor Society… He will never be contested.
277. The spin on a Roy Halladay curveball creates an anti-gravitational field which repels opponent’s bats.
278. Roy Halladay’s sinker cured my torn ACL!
279. When Roy Halladay pitches, the Bloods and Crips sit down and share a beer talking about Roy’s dominance.
280. If you “pull a Roy” you have done something extraordinary.
281. Eli Manning never won that super bowl. Roy Halladay played QB dressed in a Eli Manning costume. Manning still sucks.
282. Hey Tony Romo! Roy Halladay never would of botched that hold!
283. Terrorists don’t hate our freedom, they hate Roy Halladay’s sinker.
284. Picture your life as Roy Halladay. Now picture reality. It’s not you; it’s him.
285. The ending of the final Harry Potter book? Roy Halladay strikes Harry out.
286. Whenever Roy plays Blackjack, he always gets 21.
287. Roy’s curveball cured my Carpal Tunnel in both wrists!
288. There are two hands that can beat a royal flush: Roy’s right hand and Roy’s left hand.
289. Roy Halladay will get us out of Iraq.
290. Roy Halladay will never have a three K game. He will always throw four or more to piss off the racists.
291. Roy can strike out the side on 8 pitches.
292. Roy’s curveballs have sent more people packing than all the travel agents in the world
293. Roy’s curveballs produce more buckles than all the belt makers in the world.
294. Roy Halladay is 100% 120% of the time.
295. RoyHalladayFacts.wordpress.com doesn’t need the internet to survive, it’s the internet that needs Roy Halladay to survive.
296. If I had a dollar for every nasty changeup Roy throws I could bail Urbina out of jail to pitch the eighth inning.
297. If I had a dollar for every nasty changeup Roy throws I could buy the team, and still have enough money to sign Roger Clemens to pitch out of the bullpen.
298. Roy Halladay wins Connect 4 in 3 moves.
299. As a toddler, Roy Halladay didn’t throw tantrums, he threw ridiculous curveballs.
300. Revelations 6:8: And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Roy Halladay, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the palmball.
301. Roy Halladay needs only 3 minutes to save 15% or more on car insurance.
302. Roy Halladay could hold a win for Matt Cain.
303. Roy would of struck out Joe Carter.
304. Roy Halladay knows the secret to cold fusion, but the energy generated by him walking into Citizens Bank Park is much greater.
305. The song “Stop The Clocks” by German punk rockers, the Donots, is loosely based on Roy Halladay’s fastball. It goes so fast, the clocks stop.
306. Roy Halladay let the dogs out.
307. Roy Halladay strikes out more batters in every game than the amount of hot dogs Kobayashi can eat in one sitting.
308. Roy Halladay COULD pitch every game, but he’s so generous that he likes to share the spotlight with the rest of the starters. He could also pitch every inning but he doesn’t want to leave the relievers without a job.
309. The term “Weapon of Mass Destruction” now refers to Roy Halladay and a bag of baseballs.
310. Roy Halladay was the stunt double used to throw the ball from the bleachers to home plate during Rookie of the Year, going against the belief in computer animation.
311. Roy Halladay rhymes with Ace.
312. Roy Halladay is synonymous with Ace.
313. Roy’s control is fine tuned enough to throw a baseball through an exhaust pipe 34 miles away.
314. The world was originally supposed to end in 1999, but Roy Halladay didn’t want it to end that way.
315. On time when Roy was pitching for Toronto in the “non-Philadelphia Era”, he struck out A-Rod… with a beach ball.
316. Roy Halladay taught Donovan McNabb the deep ball and attempted to teach him accuracy as well, but sadly only one stuck to him.
317. Roy Halladay is on a boat.
318. Roy once had an awkward moment just to see what it would feel like.
319. Roy Halladay can speak Russian… in French.
320. Roy Halladay could trade both Dalembert AND Hartnell and get Lebron and Ovechkin in return.
321. By the time I am done type this and you done reading this, Roy Halladay will have already struckout 8 batters.
322. Roy Halladay dunked on Lebron… but Lebron stole the tape!
323.If sent back in time… Roy Halladay could kill John Connor with nothing more than a fastball.
324. Roy’s tears could cure all major diseases, its too bad he never cries.
325. Roy Halladay can ride the train with out a ticket.
326. Everything you wanted to do, everything you can’t do, and everything have done is Roy Halladay
327. Roy Halladay WANTS to take the Eagles to the first Super Bowl victory, but the Eagles like mediocrity and said “no thanks”.
328. The army slogan “Army Strong” was originally “Roy Halladay Strong” he had them change it because he wasn’t ready for that kind of attention.
329. Roy Halladay’s beard has more funk than Jefferson Airplane.
330. Roy tells hitters whats coming, and laughs when they strike out anyway.
331. You know the speed of Light? Roy Halladay knows the speed of dark.
332. Roy Halladay lets other teams score because he’s a good person.
333. Michael Phelps is really Roy Halladay in disguise…
334. And Lebron? Yup that’s Roy too. He’s that good.
335. Roy Halladay got a speeding ticket while throwing batting practice.
336. Roy Halladay can prove how the JFK “Single-Bullet Theory” is actually true.
337. Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. So what? Roy Halladay can turn those same tall buildings into rubble with his bare hards.
338. Someone once asked Roy if he was faster than a speeding bullet…he responded “only if I slow down”.
339. Roy Halladay can catch his own fastball for strike three.
340. Roy plays long toss with a Sherman tank.
341. Roy can’t throw a frozen rope because there is far too much heat on his ball.
342. Roy plays hacky sack with a bean bag chair…. filled with metal
343. Roy Halladay knows that Red Pinstripes are in fact cooler.
344. Roy Halladay does need hands to do push-ups… or pull-ups.
345. Roy Halladay is so good, that even if they pull him in the 7th, they will put him back in to close it in the 9th.
346. When Roy does division… there are no remainders.
347. Roy Halladay is in fact the United States’s anti-missile defense system. He only has to a change-up and the missile is shot down.
348. Roy doesn’t throw his curve ball very often because of the high risk of tsunamis across the globe.
349. If Roy Halladay was the Philadelphia Eagles GM he would of been able to re-sign Brian Dawkins.
350. Brian Dawkins learned to hit from Roy Halladay.
351. Roy Halladay could handle the truth and smell what the Rock was cooking. Simultaneously.
352. Roy Halladay ses our planet as a warm up… He actually plays universal baseball in space with upper level beings and uses our solar system as his home field. Anything past Pluto is a home run. The sun is home plate and Jupiter is the pitching mound. The Comets we think we see racing past our planet are actually baseballs thrown by Roy Halladay going over 600 kilometers per second and that’s just his change up. All other planetary beings from across the universe got together to talk about Roy Halladay and his fastball and came to the conclusion that he is not allowed to throw it because it is actually the force that causes black holes. Roy Halladay is the current and only owner of the Superchampionshipseriescup… That is the prize for being the best in the universe and it has been around for hundreds and hundreds of solar years.
353. Roy Halladay is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% reason to remember the name.
354. We didn’t start the fire… but Roy Halladay did.
355. Roy Halladay was my first pick in my Fantasy…….Football
356. Fire has been kicked out of the list of the four basic elements….It will be replaced with Roy Halladay.
357. Little known fact…..For years execution options for convicted death row inmates have included Hanging, Electricution, Injection….and Facing Roy Halladay. To date… none have chosen to face Roy Halladay.
358. Roy Halladay is so awesome he graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. No it’s true!
359. If Roy Halladay and Chase Utley were to become locked in an intense staring contest, there’d be no survivors… anywhere.
360. So, does this mean Cole Hamels facts will be replaced with Roy Halladay facts? Yes. Yes it does.