The Final Strikeout: Roy Halladay Fact #668

Man, it’s been a loooooooooooooooong time since I’ve updated this site. Over seven years since the last post. A lot has changed. I have a whole nother blog I run, but it’s only active during Lent. If you want, you check it out here. Anyway enough of that.

Today is a somber day. Earlier today Roy Halladay, the namesake and pretty much reach why this irreverent blog exists, passed away in a plane crash. Thoughts, prayers, and condolences go out to his family.

For those who go to see Doc pitch, we are lucky. He truly was a generational talent from the time he was called up, then sent back down, then called back up again, and then eventually traded to Philadelphia. The man was embodiment of everything awesome and amazing about both the city of Toronto and Philadelphia. He was the consummate professional and gave new meaning to the word “professional” in “professional athlete”.

Rest in peace, Doc. I hope you are up in Heaven throwing cutters that even the good Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ himself couldn’t hit. Speaking truly though, I say “rest” but we all know (and I do mean we all know) that “rest” wasn’t a part of Roy Halladay’s vocabulary.

I never really gave this blog a proper farewell. To those who stopped by and visited, I thank you. I hope that I gave you at least some measure of enjoyment or even a chuckle. So, I feel it’s only proper to send this blog out with one final Roy Halladay Fact…


Roy Halladay Fact #668: For as great and prolific of a pitcher Roy Halladay was, he was an even better man.


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Facts 663-667

663. Another song that is loosely based on Roy Halladay is Rev Theory’s “Light It Up”. When Roy ignites, you should hold on… because he’s about to light it [the scoreboard] up with zeros.

664. If G.I. Joe was batting against Roy Halladay, Roy would change the kung-fu grip into exactly what it is, CHILD’S PLAY!

665. When it’s over is it really over? Yes it is. Why Because Roy Halladay just struck your ass out!

666. No it’s not the number of the beast. It’s the numbers Roy plays in the PA Lottery’s Daily Number. (PS. He wins every time)

667. Roy Halladay doesn’t NEED Cliff Lee to be awesome… because Roy Halladay is 45% awesome, 55% intimidation.

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Introspective look at Roy

Now I have seen Roy Halladay pitch many times before in his pre-Philadelphia days. The very first time I saw him pitch up at Yankee Stadium for the Blue Jays, I could tell he was the real deal. I watched Roy pitch up in Toronto over many summers dating back to at least 2004 thanks to my friends from Toronto and the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). I admire Halladay so much that I started to tailor my pitching mechanics like his. So when Roy was traded last December to the Phillies (a few days after my 20th birthday I might add), I decided to create a website that had “facts” about Roy. The following is a somewhat humorous look at who Roy Halladay truly is.

And so I ask the question: So you think you who Roy Halladay is?

So you think you know who Roy Halladay is? You could look at his baseball card, but all that will tell you is that he is a six foot, four inch, 230 pound right-handed starter for the Philadelphia Phillies. If you look at a website like Baseball Reference, all that will tell you is how he pitched (stat wise) prior to being traded to Philadelphia and of course his current numbers with Philadelphia. It’ll also tell you that Roy is a 13 year Major League veteran who has played 12 of those 13 years with the Toronto Blues Jays. Well, Wikipedia defines Roy Halladay “as a Major League starting pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies. So I ask the question who exactly is Harry Leroy Halladay? Well after do some very extensive, painstaking, humorous, and ridiculous research, I have started to put together a picture of who exactly Roy Halladay is. Here is what I found out. Please be advised: don’t read while in class, at a wedding, a funeral, or any place that would condone laughter of the boisterous variety, just sayin’.

First off, Roy Halladay isn’t right-handed, he is just bored. The only reason why Roy pitches right-handed, is because pitching left-handed was too easy and he needed a challenge. The fact is, Roy could throw left-handed and still strikeout 10 Mets batters (or 10 Yankees, your choice). Roy Halladay is actually related to the infamous gunslinger, Doc Holliday. The only thing is, Roy Halladay uses fastballs instead of guns and bullets. The truth about Halladay height as well; Roy is actually 100 feet tall, he had to shorten himself to the required “under 100 feet tall” Major League Baseball standard/requirement. He does this so that way hitters might have a chance against him. The fact is: that Roy Halladay is more than just a person. He is a myth and a legendary folk hero. I mean how else could someone out pitch Nolan Ryan and Grover Cleveland Alexander before he was even born? Or could it be than Roy is a figure of mythology much like Odysseus or Achilles? In short I don’t know.  Okay so here is the deal after I did my research: yes, Halladay is a right-handed pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies. We all know that. But Roy is also a legendary pitcher, just ask the New York Yankees whenever they have to face him.

There is some scientific proof of who Roy Halladay is. It’s not a lot of proof but there is some. Scientists have tried to find out what the chemical makeup of Roy Halladay. They [the scientists] discovered that the chemical formula, for Roy Halladay is IP9H0BB0K27. Though moreover on the scientific makeup of Halladay, he has his own Periodic Table of Elements. The Table reads: 1Cu (Cutter) 2Cv (curveball), 3Ch (changeup), 4Fu (Brusback), and 5Sk (Sinker). As scientists discovered, any exposure to 4Fu causes instant death.  Or did you know that Roy Halladay defies the laws of Physics? Though someone will tell, actually everyone will tell you that you can’t break the laws of Physics, so scientists had to develop a new theory which has become universally known as the “Roy Halladay Law”. Or how about that whole Pythagorean theory of “A Squared + B Squared = C Squared,” thing? Well is not that… what is it in reality? “A Squared + B Squared =Roy Halladay”. Top nerds at NASA and even Al Gore are trying to study Roy Halladay and harness his coolness under pressure to combat Global Warming. Or did you know that Roy Halladay is a concentrated mixture of 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% reason to remember the name.

Roy Halladay could run for President of the United States and Governor of Pennsylvania, but he is/ will be too busy, helping the Phillies win the Division. Speaking of politics and Roy Halladay: Halladay is used by the United States as an effective and legal use of “Torture”. The application of mental or physical torture in order to obtain information or confession from a prisoner is commonly referred to as the “third degree”. The only confirmed act that guarantees 100 percent success in securing information is showing the prisoner a life-size cutout of Halladay holding a baseball, from 60’6″ away. There is a little know fact: for years execution options for convicted death row inmates have included Hanging, Electrocution, Injection and Facing Roy Halladay. To date, none have chosen to face Roy Halladay.

Even religion is affected by Roy Halladay. For a person to be canonized into sainthood by the Catholic Church, there must be proof of at least ONE miracle needs to be established. Of all the miracles recognized, it can be said that no saint has ever gotten so much as a foul tip off of a Roy Halladay fastball and it might never be achieved. Moreover, if people converted to “Halladay-ism,” it would end the all of the world’s religious problems/issues.

Did you know that Roy Halladay has a PhD? Of course did if you have been reading along or have been watching any of his starts. Roy Halladay has PhD in K’s. But did he need to go to college to get it? No. Roy Halladay didn’t need to go to college, because he already had a PhD in strikeouts from a Baseball powerhouse school known as:  Dominant Mastery University. Of course Roy Halladay is proof that you don’t need a PhD, MD, or Ed.D to be a doctor or suffer through Med School for that matter. Did you also know that Roy Halladay could be used as a sort of “self-help” or cure for maladies, bad pitching mechanics and bullpen woes? Yep, in fact, I had issues while I was a pitcher/pitching in high school. I changed my pitching mechanics to mimic Roy Halladay. I won 20 games and my Earned Run Average dropped five whole points [not 0.05 or 0.50 not even 0.55 but 5.00] to 0.57. This one time Roy Halladay cut his hair and donated it to “Locks of Love” so an 11 year old cancer patient, Kelly, could feel normal. Upon receiving Roy’s hair, she was instantly cured of cancer, grew nine inches, and could throw a changeup that even Roy was impressed with.

So that is Roy Halladay roughly in a condensed version of a nutshell. Roy Halladay is robust and unique pitcher, ballplayer and individual. So much so, that this very article could not/can not contain the amount of facts on who Roy Halladay exactly is. So if you want more, you can go to your nearest computer and logon to the internets and go to Roy Halladay Facts (link in the sidebar/doobledoo).

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Post-Perfection facts

655. The scary thing is… Roy could/might do this again. No not later in his career; nor next season; but later THIS season.

656. Why is Roy so dominate, you ask? 12 years in the American League East and because he was born that way.

657. You can’t teach dominance… but for $17 you can go see Roy Halladay dominate hitters for 9 innings every five days.

658. What does the following have to do with Roy Halladay?

a : Being entirely without fault or defect : flawless

b : satisfying all requirements : accurate

c : corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept

d : faithfully reproducing the original; specifically : letter-perfect

e : legally valid, expert, proficient, pure, total

They all describe him!

659. Roy Halladay > Ubaldo Jimenez

660. Perfect Game > No-Hitter. So essentially… Roy Halladay > Ubaldo Jimenez. You get the picture.

661. Roy now own the souls of the Florida Marlins muhhahaha!

662. Roy Halladay can roundhouse kick Chuck Norris with 0% fear of retaliation. Dead men tell no tales or perform no roundhouse kicks.

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Mark the History books! That on this day May 29th 2010, Phillies ace Roy Halladay threw his first Perfect Game.

Here are some facts that I have been collecting from you, the readers.

646. The late Curt Henning lost the title of “Mr. Perfect” to Doc Halladay on 5/29/10

647. Roy Halladay was the one who taught Michael Leighton about complete game shutouts.

648. Bah, offense! Who needs it when you have Roy Halladay?

649. In the Nats clubhouse, Miguel Batista watched clips of Roy Halladay’s presser and turned to 2 reporters. “You can’t fake awesome,” he said.

650. Roy Halladay is proof that he is living history.

651. Who says diamonds are the only perfect things in the world?

652. Roy Halladay’s perfection makes the world take notice.

653. True Fact: Roy Halladay threw the 20th Perfect Game in MLB history.

654. True Fact: Roy Halladay in throwing the 20th Perfect Game in MLB history, also threw the 2nd Perfect Game in Philadelphia Phillies franchise history.

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Roy Halladay Facts: Daily K’s

645. Little known fact. There was a Muppet Baby that matched up perfectly with Roy, but we never as viewers got to meet this character because he was always too busy working out in a separate room–running stairs, lifting, throwing bullpen sessions–all the while dreaming up new ways to break faces. – from I want to go to the zoo with Roy Halladay.

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Roy Halladay Facts: Daily K’s

643. Bobblehead Roy will be making his debut tonight against the Pirates… he already has 130 wins thanks to his pre-Philadelphia days.

644. – The amount of points opponents batting averages DROP when facing Roy Halladay.

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